Universal Manipulation
by asagohan-no-bento
Summary: Zim has a plan, Dib is worn out. Can these two finally set aside their differences or is it all just a part of a greater plan? ZaDr. R
1. Chaper Point Five: Good Morning

A/N: Well hello there! Welcome, make yourself comfortable. Are you good? Are you ready? ALRIGHT! Well, here, my dear readers, is my first attempt at an Invader Zim fanfiction (ohhhhh poor poor Jhonen, he must be twitching uncontrollably right now). I hope you will enjoy! Have fun.

Disclaimer: I own nothing....NOTHING I SAY. And I'm sure that both Jhonen Vasquez and Nick are very grateful for this small fact.

WARNINGS: This may eventually turn into Yaoi/Sho-ai, b/c that's just what I do... :D So if you're not comfortable with that, then please turn back now, I don't wanna hear anyone complaining OR I'LL TURN THIS STORY AROUND!

**Chapter .5: Good Morning**

--

With most occurrences in life, they start with a word.

"GIR!!!!"

With the morning's first breath, with the start of a new day.

"Gir! How many times have I TOLD you _not_ to touch the laz-e-fryer!"

The small green dog looked up at his addressor, a non-fazed look in it's sewn eyes despite the clearly angered voice.

"I don't know." Came the dog's chiming robotic voice. "But mans, am I Laaaaaaa-zaaaaaaaaayyyy."

The dog burst into a fit of giggles, kicking in a circle on the tiled floor.

The addressor face palmed himself, his scarlet eyes closing in the action. His black gloved hand slowly dragged itself down it's possessor's face, the green skin being tugged in the movement.

"Look _Gir,_ I need you to listen very closely." The alien chided, though annoyance was clearly visible in his voice. "Very very very VERY closely, okay Gir?"

The dog blinked at him, "Okiedokkie!"

A dragged out sigh before the alien continued. "I-" He pointed to himself, speaking slowly to make sure his message was conveyed fully, "want you-" He pointed to Gir, who pointed at itself too enthusiastically, "to _not, _ruin my- The Almight ZIM!'s- AMAzingly BRILliant plan. For this plan is so great, so very great and doomy."

Zim start to laugh manically for a few moments from the simple thought of his doom-filled adventures soon to be executed, the tiny dog started to join in too, though its laughter was far more freakish, erring less on the evil side.

"NO Gir, now listen. I need you-" Again with the pointing and gesturing, "to bring that _filthy_ Dib-human here. Understood?"

"Yes Master." Rang Gir's voice in his momentary segment of obedience. "Yay! I getta see the big-headed boy. He smells nice."

Zim glared at the small robot, who jumped out of his dog-costume and proceeded in doing a small jig. "No Gir, the Dib-stink does not smell nice, he stinks....of his humanly filth. Now go Gir!"

Gir screamed frantically as flames erupted from its feet, jetting him through the window and out into the dark streets of the victimized Earth city which ZIm decided to inhabit.

---

A/N: So there is my little intro, I hope you liked it!


	2. Chapter 1: Look Both Ways

A/N: Well! Here is chapter 1 (actually chapter 2 but who's counting?...besides me of course)! YAY! Have fun.

**WARNING**: Self-Mutilation. So if you're not cool with people cutting themselves then please turn back now. I don't wanna deal with your personal crap. And I mean that in the most endearing way possible. :D

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the insomniac Jhonen V...and Nick, but they suck so they don't matter. 'Goodbye for Now' belongs to P.O.D. (this song makes me cry....T.T)

"blah"-talking

_'...blah...'-_ lyrics

_'blah'_- thoughts

**Chapter One: Look Both Ways Before You Cross The Street**

--

_'...I can still see the light at the end of the tunnel shine, through the dark times even when I lose my mind, but it feels like no one in the world is listening, I can't ever seem to make the right decisions...'_

"Dammit!" Came the pained yell. "Dammitdammitdammitdammit."

The young adolescent gripped his arm tightly, searching frantically for a cloth, anything that could be used to cut off the circulation. The golden eyes finally rested on his own shirt and he quickly brought his teeth to the edge, ripping off a hemmed section. He wrapped it with his now free hand and teeth just above his left elbow.

Dib was panting heavily, quickly running a bloodied hand through his layered bangs. His radio played on.

_'...I don't know what time it is, or whose the one to blame for this. Do I believe what I can't see and how do you know which way the wind blows? Cause I can feel it all around. I'm lost between the sounds, and just when I think I know then she goes...'_

He hadn't meant to cut that deep, he didn't _actually_ want to kill himself...not just yet.

He wanted to bring himself to the edge of physical capabilities and see if he could drag himself back. He wanted to have some control over his life's tortures, wanted to be the one inflicting the pain and not having it inflicted upon him.

...He wanted proof of _something_ in his life...a few scars would be proof enough.

He was tired of being mocked, tired of being the only one to see the world for what it truly was.

The world was decaying, and nobody seemed to be concerned with saving it. Expect for him...he was the only one.

He grabbed the knife again. _"Across the street or down the road?"_**(1)**He asked internally, smiling at the stupidity of it.

_'...I'm still smiling as the day goes by and how come no body ever knows the reasons why? Bury your teeth so far that you can't see, if you're like me who has a broken heart on your sleeve. Pain and struggles that you know so well, either time don't, it can't, or it just won't tell. I'm not the type to say I told you so, I think the hardest part of holding on is letting it go...'_

"Down the road it is."

"YEEEEEEE-HAAAWWW!" Came an ecstatic voice as Dib's window was shattered into millions of razor-edge pieces. The boy flinched, the abrasive sound reaching his ears from where he sat in his bathroom. He looked out the open door, peering into his now completely trashed bedroom as the small robot bounced off his walls, knocking various expensive paranormal equipment onto the floor, most likely breaking them in the process, until the small alien machinery landed itself on his bed.

_'...and you can sing until there's no song left, and I can scream until the world goes deft, for every other word left unsaid, you should have took the time to read the signs and see what it meant. In some ways everybody feels alone, so if the burden is mine than I can carry my own unti-__**zzzzzttz-**__'_

The music was cut off by a sheered electric cord and Dib gapped at the scene.

His eyes darted between the now-broken window and the robot happily kicking away on his bed. Then down to the small scalpel pressed to the middle of his exposed forearm. His mind went relatively blank, feeling rather guilty for being caught in the act of self-mutilation.

Gir soon grew tired of his resting spot and hopped off of the bed, scurrying quickly over to the human sitting limply on his bathroom floor.

A huge gasp, followed by giggling. "You're BLEEDING! Ain't that just nice."

That snapped Dib out of his guilt, really, what was he thinking, it was a freaking SIR unit for krimanies-sake, not like it cared-or could care for that matter.

"No Gir, it's not nice." Dib muttered, hoisting himself off the blood-stained linoleum. Gir sort of looked at him for a few seconds, before smiling with its tongue out.

"You know what's nice? WAFFLES! Let's make waffles! Den we can poor that plastic lady all ova them! I love that plastic lady....I love her SO much." The tiny robot even started to tear up at the end to emphasize its passion.

Dib couldn't help but allowing a small smile to appear on his lips. He sighed, shaking his head as Gir began to do various acrobatics around the bathroom. Dib looked himself in the mirror, not really happy with what he saw there.

His father's poor insane son, his sister's punching bag, the F.B.I.'s number one 'to-avoid' lister.

A passionate paranormalist who was fed up.

The sharp spike that had curved over his head for his entire childhood had finally been conquered by gravity, now falling over the right side of his face in a shaggy, haphazard manner, the rest of his hair following suit. The glasses had been ditched for contacts, his father tired of having to replace the ones that constantly were broken during Dib's intense pursuits of the infamous Zim. Self-pierced studs ran up each side of his ears, along with an industrial bar on the left side.

_'Well don't you look professional? Perfect display of your assimilation to mediocracy.'_

Dib was distractedfrom his thoughts by a small tugging on his skin tight jeans. He looked down to find a curious Gir looking up at him, its tongue still hanging cutely out of its mouth.

The staring continued a bit, Dib quirking an eyebrow at the little robot, who just continued to smile.

"Uhm....What is it Gir?" Dib finally asked.

"Masta! Masta wants to see you. He was all laughing and plotting, he sounded reeeaaal excited. Like that squirrel on your lawn, he was all chewing on a nut." Gir stated excitedly, imitating the movements of a squirrel gnawing on air.

"Zim? Why?" The adolescent asked perplexed. Zim had never actually wanted Dib in his house for the entire four years they had known each other, it had always been breaking and entering, trespassing if you may. What could Zim want from him?

"I dons't know!" Gir yelled, throwing its tiny metallic arms in the air. "But he wants you....He wants you BAD!"**(2)**

"Uhm.......okay." Dib stated unevenly, still unsure. He really had nothing to lose by going to Zim's house. Zim's house that was a fortress of alien technology that was just waiting to rip him apart limb from limb, along with an arch enemy who would probably happily watch.

_'Well, it'd be better than hanging around here.'_

"Lets go then."

--

**(1)**- "Down the street or across the road" is an Emo way of saying down your arm or across your wrist for cutting. Supposedly, _real_ Emo kids cut down the road.

**(2)**- "he wants you BAD" is a ZaDr reference (fyi for those of you who are in denial about their relationship).........I was snickering so badly when I was writing it, I just had to make a note of it.

A/N: I used to read ZaDr and wonder "Why do people like torturing Dib so much?" Well now I understand. It's so much fun! Anyways, I hope you liked it. Please review!

OH! and the plastic lady Gir is talking about is Mrs. Buttersworth...doesn't everyone love her? (no b/c I hate syrup...but whatever)


	3. Chapter 2: Pavlove

A/N: SO! Chapter three! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.....ain't it sad?

Chapter 3: Pavlove

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Dib somehow managed to keep up a good pace with the sporadic, semi-rampaging robot who was guiding him, blood-loss included.

Nothing much had changed. The streets were still relatively vacant, the walls of the buildings still held the same griminess they always did. An occasional scream was heard from one home or another every now and again, nothing extremely out of the ordinary.

The moon was up, the sun gone to brighten some other idiot's life halfway around the decaying planet's surface.

Oh weren't they just lucky?

One thing that was different however, was the fact that Dib's heart was racing uncontrollably. His mind kept coming up with the strangest explanation for Zim's sudden summons. His conscience's favorite scenarios seemed to be some odd-form of tentacle S&M generally leading to a freezing and bloodied autopsy table _OR_ simply being blasted into nothing but ashes the moment he dropped his guard, usually upon entering the decrepit house of Zim.

All the while, in either scenario, stood Zim, brilliant pinkish-red orbs glittering with glee, laughing mockingly at Dib's plight of falling blindly into his AMAZINGLY set trap.

Dib sighed, realizing that the two scenarios didn't seem to really bother him, and in all actuality, he would become disappointed with the outcome of the second, personally leaning towards the torture and blood.

God, he really was becoming a masochist...

"Ouff," Dib breathed, being brought out of his internal movie loop when he bumped into a sedentary Gir. He looked down at the rigid robot, finding it odd to see something that was usually so animated be still.

He couldn't observe for long however, because Gir suddenly started shaking, jumping up and down, pointing in front of it. Dib tilted his head to the side, before looking towards where the tiny SIR unit was pointing. His eyes widened upon taking in the green walls, the purple roof.

The unmistakable rows of garden gnomes.

Zim's house stood in front of them, sort of curving towards the street in all of it's abnormal glory. _'How did we get here so quickly?'_ Dib wondered off-handedly. He shrugged it off, not really caring enough to find the real reason.

Dib looked back towards where Gir was standing, only to find that the robot was missing. He looked around curiously, before he spotted it already at the door, doing what looked like the chicken dance.

"Huh?" Dib said, not really expecting an explanation. He sighed and walked towards the house, indifferent to whether the alien gnomes blasted him upon entry or not.

Gir continued to wait at the door as Dib took his sweet-ass time to reach it. He looked up at material keeping him from entering, the completely obvious 'Men's Restroom' sign hanging from the door. Really, Zim _had _to know that this wasn't something a _normal_ house would have on their entrance. With all of his daily claims of being a 'normal earth-smelly' Dib thought that he would at _least_ know to take that down by now.

But then he realized that he really didn't care that much anymore, it only made him frustrated at the stupidity of his race and the fact that Zim was probably only doing it openly now because he _knew_ that no one even cared. Zim was mocking him.

_'Wouldn't be the first time.'_

Dib knocked on the door twice.

The wood and plastic solid opened, and Dib stepped in without hesitation, dismissing the strangeness that Zim was nowhere in sight, that he wasn't greeted at the door.

Gir went straight for the couch, turning on the t.v. in one fluid motion. The door shut behind Dib in an eerily omniscient manner. He looked to where the door was wearily, then back to Gir, who was happily watching the Angry Monkey Show.

Dib still wasn't sure where the robot got the nachos....or the giant brain freezy.

The adolescent shifted in his spot for a few seconds, fiddling with the pockets on the trench coat he had thrown on before he was literally dragged from his house by Gir.

A sound of some sort came from the kitchen, followed by angered yelling.

"GIR!"

Ah, Zim had arrived.

"Gir!," the alien continued, stomping angrily into the living room, covered in what looked like the derbies of an explosion, "What did you do the the atomic ionization mechanism? HMM?!" Zim demanded, not yet noticing Dib standing by his door, distractedly brushing off the black soot from his Irken uniform.

Gir blinked at him for a few moments, shrugging quickly before turning back to his show. Zim growled his customary growl, his tiny fists clenching and opening in an effort to control himself.

"Come Gir, tell Zim. Tell Zim that you switched the neuron analyzer with the ion meter." He proceeded through clenched zipper teeth.

Gir frowned, turning guiltily to its master. "Ooookay, I switchded the pink thingy, with the yellow light...I ARE SO SORRY!"

Gir then proceeded to cry a literal river in the middle of the room. Zim smiled in triumph, though his face was still covered in dark ashes.

"Yes, yes. Zim knows of your uncontrollable tempta-"

_'Finally noticed me?'_ Dib thought, smirking internally. Zim's face turned into an instant scowl, crossing his arms, eying the Dib-human.

"Hi?" Dib said stupidly, giving a small wave. Zim's eyes only narrowed further. "What are you doing in _MY_ house!?" The alien demanded, leaving the human confused.

"Uhm....uh, well, Gir said that you wanted to, uh, see me?"

A spark of realization, but it quickly faded from Zim's face.

"Of COURSE! Zim knows this, it was merely a _test_. A simple test for the worm-baby." The alien proclaimed, nodding his head a few times with his arms folded over his chest.

Dib snickered, "Pretty stupid test, even for you _Zim._"

"SILENCE!" Zim demanded, suddenly a hair's breath away from Dib, his hands in the air to emphasize his command. "Now come with Zim, there is much to do. So very much..." The alien continued, grabbing Dib's left forearm.

Dib winced audibly, quickly pulling out of Zim's grasp and holding his arm to his side. Zim gave Dib his signature confused look.

"Eh?"

Dib looked down and to the side, "It's nothing, let's go."

The anger was back full-force on Zim's face. "Do not order _Zim, _Dib-stink. Now tell me of this aliment, does my touching you somehow weaken the human body? Does it cripple you? HMM!? TELL ME!"

Dib looked at him for a few moments, oddly observing how the long antenna on the top of the alien's head bobbed occasionally, as if its gravity was of some other pressure than that holding down the rest of Zim's body.

He quickly met ZIm's curious eyes. "I said it was nothing." He tried to persuade, being uncommonly snippy with Zim. The alien seemed to pay no mind to the odd behavior, too wrapped up on this new possibility of having an advantage over the pathetic hi-yu-mans.

Zim nodded, "This must be tested," He grabbed Dib's forearm again only this time with more pressure. Dib whined, flinching away. A large malicious grin crept itself onto Zim's face.

"Is that nothing? Oh stupid, stupid Dib-worm, you cannot _lie_ to Zim. Now show Zim, show Zim the damage he has done to you pathetic Earth skin."

Dib sighed, "Look you didn't _do _anything, my arm is just sore Zim."

"Eh?" Came Zim's customary look. "What could have _possibly_ made you puny arms sore...No, you cannot deceive me."

Dib was starting to get seriously annoyed. Zim had no right to criticize his discomfort.

"What did you want Space Boy, I've got other things to do than stand here and be tortured by you." The adolescent stated sharply, crossing his arms over his chest.

Zim relented, finding Dib's lack of enthusiasm disconcerting. "Fine fine Dib-thing. We shall start now. Computer, take the Dib's coat."

Dib's shoulders hitched, his eyes darting towards the ceiling where two large mechanical spider-legs shot out of the moving panels. As if targeting the panicked Dib, they sudden honed in on him at a deadly speed, causing the scared adolescent to cower. However, the legs suddenly pulled to a stop just atop Dib's shoulders, small little suction cups popping from the metal surface and gluing themselves onto his trench.

"Uh, uhm, thats...that's not really," Dib tried to persuade as the legs started to tug off his clothing, "necessar-RY!" The boy exclaimed as the legs managed to tare the material off. Dib instantly brought his arms behind his back, folding is hands against his ass, a large blush on his face.

Zim tilted his head to the side. "But it is customary for normal earth babies to take their guests coats at the door, is it not Dib-stink?" Those large red eyes shifted to Dib's arms, which the boy continued ot hold behind his back.

An antenna raised curiously. "What are you hiding from Zim?" The alien asked innocently, his voice suddenly a lot calmer than it had been since Dib had arrived.

Dib laughed nervously, his fingers twinning and untwining behind his back. "Nothing, haha, what would I have to hide?"

"Zim does not know Dib-beast, that is why I'm asking you." Zim stated with an angered hint to his tone. "Now show Zim."

"It's really nothin- owowow." The adolescent was cut off when Zim lunged at him, grabbing his right wrist. Zim looked at the pale skin of the forearm, seeing nothing there. An odd-form of a pout appeared across the alien's non-exsisten lips.

Dib was sweating bullets, and his pupils dilated as Zim connected glances with him. "Other arm." The non-earthling demanded, holding out his tiny gloved claw. Dib looked hesitantly at the appendage, then he glanced down at his left shoulder. Zim was growing impatient, his inhuman hands clenching and unclenching in a Gimmie!* gesture.

Dib continued to stall for time, not really wanting to show his own self-infliction, to show his weakness to his enemy. Or to have to explain something that he was practically sure the alien wouldn't understand.

"ARGH!" came Zim's aggravated bellow as the alien decided to take manners into his own hand, grabbing the left arm of the being in front of him.

Dib visibly winced as Zim man-handled him.

"HA!" Zim exclaimed, "I see that I HAVE weakened your _pathetic_ Earthy flesh. You cannot fool ZIM!"

Dib snapped. Whether it be from the pain, or maybe from Zim just warring on his nerves, he wasn't sure.

"YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" The adolescent yelled, trying to yank his arm back from Zim, but the alien just stared at him, unfazed, and held on tightly.

"What do you mean Dib-human, there is evidence, here!" Zim stated, pointing to the long cut along the pale flesh. Then the alien began to examine the cut, his eyes narrowing. "But it _is _strange, these are not claw marks...hmmmm..."

Dib took advantage of the alien's examination and finally managed to get his arm free. He held his wrist, his underarm held tight against his chest.

"It appears that you are right, Dib-scum, I did not make those marks. It appears a thin, sharp, proby-thing has, though why I do not know." The alien stated, very proud of his discovery.

Dib laughed darkly, "Thanks for that Zim, I would have _never_ been able to figure it out."

Zim's antenna pricked up, "You are welcome Dib-filth."

Dib groaned, again realizing that sarcasm was completely lost of Zim.

Zim continued to look at him, his eyes still on the hidden wound. The alien's curiosity started to build, and Dib raised an eyebrow in reply to the unspoken question. Zim let out an angry breath, "So then, what _did _maim you?" The extraterrestrial demanded.

Dib blanched, his eyes widening. "Why does it matter?" Zim brought a thoughtful claw to his chin. "Because, _Dib-stink_, I find it hard to believe that something, besides the amazing ZIIM!, could have been able to hurt you. Your _pathetic hyuman_ body happens to be _stupidly_ resilient."

Dib looked at Zim for a few moments, then at his arm, then to the floor, before sighing. "It's...it's complicated."

"Eh?"

Dib smiled sadly. "It probably isn't something that you would be able to understand."

"Are you questioning my INTELLIGENCE?! Explain! Zim's comprehension far surpasses that of ANY Earth-smelly." The alien demanded, his voice fluctuating with his anger.

Another long sigh, "Look Zim-"

"EXPLAIN TO ME!"

Dib relented. "FINE! I cut myself OKAY?! I did it!"

A look of complete confusion overcame Zim's features. "Why would you do something as incredibly _stupid_ as that? Oh!"

If possible, Dib had become even more confused at Zim's final statement, and...was he _blushing?_

Zim started to laugh in his condescending manner. "Oh you strange strange species you."

Dib let his arms drop, "Huh?" He asked with a tone of exasperation.

Zim looked up at him shrugging. "You're in heat correct? We Irkens have a similar ritual, but it's not nearly as _stupid _as you're _filthy_ human ways."

Dib's jaw dropped, "Huh-wha-, Zim...I, what are-...NO! I'm not in _heat _Zim, it's depression! It's an unconscious cry for help! It's masochism! Well, yeah, I guess the last one is a form of heat...but that's not the point! I'm _miserable_ Zim, that's why."

Zim nodded, obviously not getting the point, "Yes, that's why the Irken ritual is much more....better-er. Far superior to your feeble _Earthy_ methods."

Palm-to-face. "Ugh, you know what, Never mine, it's not important. What did you want Zim?"

"Oh yes! I did want your _hideous_ Earth flesh for a reason, oh the reasons Zim has..., Come! We shall start the experimentation now, you have waisted enough of Zim's precious time."

"Huh?" Dib asked again, but then he felt the ground fall out beneath him, literally.

Dib's throat was being bullied by his stomach as he fell through the floor, screaming all the while.

--

A/N: MAN! This chapter was being really freaking stupid, I felt like there was a lot of awkward moments, but TOO BAD!

tehe, well, I hope you liked it. Please review!

Until next time!

*Gimmie!- just a little shot-out to my favorite IZ fanfiction. Go read it, it's amazing!


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